When I first stepped out of the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, I felt that my life was about to change in a way that I could not explain. It could have been the sweltering heat or perhaps the nostalgia that I felt knowing that I would be staying in the Philippines for an indefinite amount of time. All I knew was that it was a new start, and I would decide which path I was about to take starting from that day. Did I take the right turns along my way, well that’s up for debate.

A lot of people when asked if they have any regrets in their life say that they life life never regretting anything they’ve done, but rather they look forward to the future ahead. I wish I could see things that way. Unfortunately, I am one who dwells on the past. I just feel as though my past determines how my future is going to shape up and I have to look at it and truly analyze where I went and where I actually needed to go.

And this past year and some months have truly been a whirlwind of left turns, right turns, wrong turns and lose-a-turns. There were a lot of times that I felt everything was going perfect. There were times where I just wanted to pack up and go home. But I’m not one to quit so easily. I am one to whine and b*tch about it to just about anyone who would put up with me, but quit and admit failure, no dice.

Here are the top ten regrets I’ve had in my life in the past year and some months that I’ve been back in the Philippines:

1. Not traveling as much as I could have.

2. Not spending enough time to get to know the relatives that I have here.

3. Not having been able to give my time to charitable organizations.

4. Getting into tumultuous relationships of which I knew were wrong to begin with.

5. Sleeping with the wrong people.

6. Postponing going back to school and continuing my studies.

7. Not keeping in touch with my family back home as much as I could have.

8. Being so frivolous with my money.

9. Depending too much on everybody else around me.

10. Not showing as much appreciation to my friends for being there for me all the time.

These are just some of my regrets. Once I get over them all, I can move forward with my life.

That’s all for now.

G.A.